I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
