worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
