Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Randomize
