We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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