Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
