once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
