I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
