there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no you cant smoke seaweed
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
