giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
