week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
