So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
