so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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