Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
