He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
