Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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