i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
