I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
