I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
