im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
