Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
