making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
