I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
