can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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