What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
