please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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