I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
