Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Randomize
