he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
