I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
