I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
