Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
