she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
