so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
