If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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