I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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