Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
