I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
