He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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