More tranny stories later!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Shame - the story of my life.
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