I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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