Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
