I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just cropdusted the office
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
