There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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