2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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