idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
