Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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