I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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