He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
