I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
