Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize