margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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