idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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